ilona the pest

insecurity + narcissism = awesome!

Sunday, April 29, 2007


waxing is the most painful experience i've ever had. yet, being a glutton for punishment -- a.k.a. a modern, vain, self-hating woman -- i continue to subject myself to that torture regularly.

anyone have any suggestions for painkillers or other methods to numb the sensation? my lady (at avalon day spa) is awesome but i can tell she thinks i am mostly imagining the pain. she has me do these very helpful breathing exercises, but they are just not cutting it.


  • At 5:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What's the matter, aren't you shiny enough?

    Anyway, Wiki says the following:
    Waxing is accomplished by spreading a wax combination thinly over the skin. A cloth or paper strip is then pressed on the top and ripped off with a quick movement against the direction of hair growth. This removes the wax along with the hair and dead skin cells, leaving the skin smooth. Another method of waxing involves hot wax, a soft wax directly applied to the skin. The wax then hardens when it cools, thus allowing the easy removal by a therapist without the aid of cloths. This waxing method is very beneficial to people who have sensitive skin.

  • At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Waxing hurts me, too. My eyes water uncontrollably. Halfway through the waxing I always want to get up and leave. I have extremely sensitive skin and I've tried soft waxing. It hurts a little bit less than hot wax but not much less.

    Though I don't have a cure for the pain, I've recently discovered that if you take 2 Tums 30 minute before being waxed then you aren't as red from the waxing itself.

  • At 9:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Why not get laser hair removal done to permanently remove the hair so you don't have to go through that?

    You can afford it since you are working.

    And while you are at it take your boyfriend sasquatch along as he definitely has some severe excess body hair issues.

  • At 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ilona: If you watch the 40 year old virgin (he reminds me a lot of me) in the scene where he partially waxes his chest, they actually waxed him for real, thus the realism of his expressions, etc.....


    Beta Manlet

  • At 5:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i always inadvertently swat at my waxer's hand. i've been getting waxed for over 2 years. here are my suggestions:

    1.) take an alleve or two advil
    2.) drink a glass of wine
    3.) do not consume caffeine the day of.
    4.) try to wax in the morning so you don't agonize all day about your impending doom.

  • At 8:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    one more thing. the breathing is actually key. tell her to count and you exhale on 3. 1 - 2 - breeeeeeathhhe out.

  • At 11:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Ilona,
    I always take an advil or two before I go for a waxing. It totally dulls the pain for me. You can also adjust dosage depending on how painful you expect it to be.
    Good luck!
    p.s. that was me a couple months ago who responded to your burn question w/ the ice cold water advice. Your medicalesque questions always inspire me to comment!

  • At 8:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i smell an opportunity for out-of-work anesthesiologists or ones that need some extra dough!

    perhaps spas should have some kinda painkiller option. "would you like an epidural with your brazillian?"


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