ilona the pest

insecurity + narcissism = awesome!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

bacon welcome kit

today my "welcome kit" from the bacon-of-the-month club arrived. the package (which came in a silver, glittery envelope) included:

- a tiny rubber pig to put on my desk (about 1" long)
- a rubber pig snout attached to an elastic string, for wearing around the office
- a pig pen (get it?!)
- a bacon-of-the-month-club t-shirt
- a certificate of membership
- a membership card (although they call it my membership "slab")

i'm too lazy to learn how to take pictures and post them here, so here's a picture of the items i, er, borrowed from someone else's blog:


actually, wait a sec - mine didn't come with any handbook! wtf. oh well. minor glitches aside, it's still pretty freaking awesome. you are so jealous, right?

8 Comments:

  • At 1:19 PM, Blogger Will said…

    Until this post a part of me still thought you were joking about a "bacon of the month" club.

     
  • At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    oink oink!!!

     
  • At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Why are Americans so materialistic? Especially the women. I think the only reason men are materialistic is because if they flash cash and material items, women will come. I want to be able to drive an econo box, preferably a diesel, imported from europe, but I also want to have sex. Unfortunately in this country, it really matters to them. I don't care, but I have to. I could go out tomorrow, get a BMW, and have a woman by that evening. Of course she likes the material things, not me. Not what I want at all, but it's so prevelant these days. WTF is wrong with America?

     
  • At 7:37 AM, Blogger wt said…

    Anon 2:04: Ok, I think I see where you're going with your argument, and you make some good points. But maybe your problem is that you're focusing too much on cars and not enough on courting women with bacon of the month club memberships.

     
  • At 8:05 PM, Blogger ilona said…

    you're right, i confess! all i want is a man who can bring home the bacon.

    bah-dum-bum.

     
  • At 7:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I went to a bar last night, just walked up to a random woman and called her a whore. I found out she was this guy I know's ex girlfriend. So I knew she actually was a whore. Guess what happened? I was making out with her within an hour of calling her a whore. If I treated her with respect, I would have gotten nowhere with her. When will women learn some self respect, or they all just a bunch of whores? Treat them with respect, you get nowhere. Treat them like shit, and you're good to go. I cannot respect someone who doesn't respect themselves.

     
  • At 11:05 AM, Blogger ilona said…

    I cannot respect someone who doesn't respect themselves.

    funny, i can't respect misogynistic, sadistic morons. i guess we've all got our quirky little pet peeves!

     
  • At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I went to a bar last night, just walked up to a random woman and called her a whore. I found out she was this guy I know's ex girlfriend. So I knew she actually was a whore. Guess what happened? I was making out with her within an hour of calling her a whore. If I treated her with respect, I would have gotten nowhere with her. When will women learn some self respect, or they all just a bunch of whores? Treat them with respect, you get nowhere. Treat them like shit, and you're good to go. I cannot respect someone who doesn't respect themselves.

    And then you woke up?

     

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