ilona the pest

insecurity + narcissism = awesome!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

about my stalkers

let's just get this all out on the table, shall we? there's this message-board community full of people who used to just be obsessed with hating my BF, but now many of them seem to have adopted me as an additional object of their curiosity/hatred/affection/fanaticism. i confess that lately i've been reading what they write about me pretty regularly - just an inexplicable complusion to know what other people are saying about me.

mostly they like to trade insults about me, many based only in their febrile imaginations, others with some truth, others that are matters of opinion: that i'm annoying, ugly, flat-chested, anorexic, a "jewess," stereotypically jewish, a JAP, a skank, a hippie, a gold-digger, a lesbian, a boy; that i have too low self-esteem, too high self-esteem, smell bad, have poor personal hygiene habits. . . did i mention ugly? oh, and they hate the lip ring. (but if you think those are bad, you should hear what they say about my BF. :)

it's cool, it's not a big deal, i can handle it. it's mostly bizarre and somewhat entertaining. i just wanted to give you normal readers an idea of some of the stuff that's going on behind the scenes.


  • At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    #1: Nobody likes a person who complains about "unjustified haters".
    #2: Nobody gives a shit in the first place.

  • At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You forgot "teh man jawline"

    However, you do have extremely perfect facial skin, which is probably why you obsessively wear huge hats and sunglasses..

  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As one of the posters from that particular community (fromer FC posters) I'd like to say I'm sorry. We do have some weirdos among us, very heavily OCD, and due to whay they somehow view as a betrayal by pud for closing the message board, he has become a prime target for their infantile rage. You shouldn't take any of it personally as you're more collateral damage than intended target. I like the blog, thanks for providing interesting reading material. :)

  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh, and happy birfday.

  • At 6:21 PM, Blogger perkmashin said…

    Don't worry about those guys, Ilona! They made fun of me because I'm crippled and gay. It's not my fault I'm crippled and gay! Although I am both crippled and gay by choice.

  • At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think it goes with the territory of dating pud. That's got to be a lot of fun.

    As for FFC, nobody reads that much anyway. When I see posts about you I ignore the bad. You seem like a great girl and and an unusual and good paring with pud.

    I'll bet you are riot to be with.

    Best of luck to the both of you!

  • At 6:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was wondering what was going on!

  • At 6:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The tards on FFC are going nuts about your shorts. You should seriously consider putting them on e-bay.

  • At 10:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    whoa, hold the phone. let me set all the shit-talkers straight: ilona is not JAPANESE. the rest of it's pretty much dead-on...

    but seriously... ilona, i think the stalkers are just pre-teen boys taking their first baby-steps into the confusing world of chicks.

    lesson 1, boys: harrassing and name-calling are rookie moves when flirting with the fairer sex. the amount of internet/playground grief you give is directly proportional to the amount of desperation, loneliness and frustration you feel when not getting any attention from your objects of desire. that, in turn, is inversely proportional to the amount of parental acceptance (or breast feeding) you got as a child. now, the only way you know how to get attention is by hurling insults. sure, it worked for david addison and maddy hayes (oh wait...way before your time)...sam malone and diane chambers?...oh well, that's all just TV bullshit anyway. any real girl (not the ones spread-eagle in Maxim) will see your irreverence and your false bravado for what it really is: insecurity. and believe, you, me...this will plague you your entire life, son. you will continue to live an unfulfilling existence. failing to find the affection that you so desperately crave. and thinking of more and more futile and ridiculous ways to find it. until you finally end up with someone just as insecure as yourself. someone, another shell of a person, who will put up with your shit.

    bottom line: you catch more vagina with sugar than with vinegar (insert douche joke here)...

    anyway, i think all you stalkers should stop flirting with ilona, cuz she's taken. in the meantime, there's this thing called sunlight. y'all should check it out sometime.

  • At 10:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I am the anonymous commenter that asked if you were as annoying in person as you came across in your videos.

    I think you took my comment too seriously, I was just busting your balls and looking to see if there was a story behind that bizarre dance you did on the wall.

    You should have just told me to "f$%k off" instead of obsessing on it.

    PS. There is nothing wrong with being a jewess, it is not an insulting term.

  • At 4:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "...nothing wrong with being a jewess, it is not an insulting term..." said anonymous.

    that may be so, anon, but HELLO...she's C-H-I-C-A-N-O...

    get it right, mang.

  • At 5:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Aw, don't get dragged into this.

    99% of FC were fine with Pud, as are 99% of FFC. We're also fine with you, not that it's our job to comment anyway.

    Pud's a good guy, you look great together. Ignore the haters, they're a very small but very loud minority. They do this to many people, the ones that ignore it always fare the best.


  • At 6:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dating pud is tantamount to dating Brad Pitt! And you look like Angelina Jolie. You are one lucky woman and FFC is envious of your distinctive lifestyle. Your daily adventures give meaning to my otherwise pedestrian life :). Sometimes I wish I were Pud :(.

  • At 1:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Here you are with your faith, and your peter pan advice. You have no scars on your face, and you cannot handle pressure.

  • At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow, I had no idea that the FFC site's like old times over there (vitriol, sociopathic ranting, etc.).
    Don't sweat the retards - you're cute, smart, and articulate. You should probably consider dumping Pud, however. He will inevitably bring this kind of baggage.

  • At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    [quote]Here you are with your faith, and your peter pan advice. You have no scars on your face, and you cannot handle pressure."[unquote]

    HA! you are BUSTED, piano man! ilona, you are apparently being stalked by none other than BILLY JOEL!--acc


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