ilona the pest

insecurity + narcissism = awesome!

Thursday, June 15, 2006


i really need new jeans, because i pretty much wear the same pair of pants every day of the week. but i didn't know how exactly to go about getting new jeans. does that sound weird? i am a terrible shopper. i have only the vaguest sense of what's fashionable, although i am extremely concerned with wanting to appear attractive and fashionable. and i have even less idea about where to shop for the clothes that i only vaguely sense that i want. it's all very stressful. plus i have this weird hang-up about asking people for help that i've been talking about with my therapist lately - so that keeps me stuck in this lonely spiraling whirlpool of depressing clothes-less-ness.

recently i came up with a plan to ask this girl that i just met to go jeans shopping with me. she seemed like the kind of girl who would definitely know about this kind of thing, and she seemed super-sweet, and like she might be kind of lonely too - so this seemed like the perfect non-threatening opportunity to break out of my shyness/frumpiness spiral. but when i put the plan in action by sending her a message on friendster, she never responded. although she did accept my friend-request. weird. i don't know what's going on there. should i write again? it's hard to know what the etiquette is. she seemed so nice, it's hard to imagine she's blowing me off on purpose, but you never know...

anyway, jeans: now that that line of attack was clearly not working out, i had to come up with a plan B. i emailed my sister, who's definitely the most fashionable person i know, to ask for her advice. that was a little scary for me 'cause although we're close, it's always been a bit of a sore spot for me that she's so much prettier, more fashionable, and cooler than me. and i feel like occassionally she's either directly made fun of me about those failings or, more likely, just been a little insensitive about it when i already feel really pathetic next to her and desperately yearn for her advice. (she did send me a subscription to teen vogue last year for my birthday, which is a very helpful remedial primer.)

so i got up my courage and emailed my sister today to ask for her advice about how to find cute skinny, narrow-leg jeans - what brands of jeans the kids are wearing these days and what stores i could find them in. i was all nervous after sending it (yes, my intimacy issues are a little extreme) but she wrote back in just a few minutes with a lengthy treatise answering every question i had asked and more, giving recommendations for several brands & styles of jeans to check out, color recommendations ("remember: no light colored jeans! except white is cute- just not light blue." oops, does that mean i should retire my pale blue jeans? fuck.), and she had even researched what stores in
san francisco sell them. (she lives in NY.) basically, i have the best sister ever, and you are super-jealous.

as of this afternoon, these jeans

are on their way to me, from the internet, and i will be going shopping this weekend to find them some friends.


  • At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you should go to the blues jean bar--sort of near barbri ish.

  • At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    they look horrible. I don't know maybe it's just me. The model has very thin legs and wide ass. She should never wear tight pants - she shold wear a dress or skirt instead. You could fit a fist between her twig legs.

  • At 12:24 AM, Blogger ilona said…

    dude, you're crazy! i think that model looks hot. i should be so lucky to have such twiggy legs.

  • At 2:20 PM, Blogger jk said…

    your sister sounds cool. can i meet her?

  • At 10:11 PM, Blogger ilona said…

    you can hang out with both of us in NY next year.

  • At 11:41 PM, Blogger wt said…

    Why does JK want to meet your sister? I thought he was gay.

  • At 6:55 AM, Blogger wt said…

    This is the funniest thing I've read all day.

    But I guess it's not even 10 Am yet. Oh well, it'll probably make it another 14 hours.


Post a Comment

<< Home